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Today my daughter explained to me how I’m not a mother and wouldn’t understand what that is like.

Thank you daughter for correcting my perception of reality as you see it – apparently you weren’t born but rather “appeared” on the planet all by your own will.

And, beyond that – I learned today that to sell a business, I would have to have a product which apparently my daughter (same one) said isn’t something I have.

What is your product? What would your product be? You have to have a product. she said to me this afternoon. Well, that would be a problem, if she doesn’t know that.

The last time someone said that to me, it was a commercial artist working at a job doing the artwork that appears on billboards. He was going to “help” me.

He sat within two feet of my paintings, within inches of my sculpture, crafts, written materials, notes, stacks of designs, inventions and prototypes when he said it.

Someday, I’m going to ask God if I’m crazy. Right now, it feels like I am and that the best and maybe only solution would be for me to reserve a room in a mental ward.

Apparently, creating new things every day and working hours upon hours doing a thing does not make it a fact that those things exist. I can’t come to terms with that.

It doesn’t make sense to me. None of it makes any sense. How can I depend upon family & friends to tell me the facts about reality accurately when it is like this.

Have the thousands of designs I’ve made, created, painted, designed, photographed, put on products, offered online, shown in art shows, along with these other things not exist?

Is that it? They do exist, I did create them, but they don’t count as a product or as a viable existing basis for something? I just don’t get it. And the work I’ve done is what?

Isn’t it because of skills that I’ve worked to acquire that I can do these things at all? Isn’t it online because I put it there after creating those designs and artwork and writings?

And yet, what? How could anyone with a bit of brain in their head sit amongst these things and ask me, what is your product? what are you going to sell?

How could anyone tell me, “you have to have a product. you don’t have a product. what are you going to use for a product?” as they sit in the room with them?

And, after seeing them on the computer, on the internet, in person, in my space, in boxes and on the walls and everywhere I end up living. How is that possible?

And on top of that, the mother of seven children and three grandchildren told to my face that I’m not a mother and would not understand what that is like – by my daughter.

What is wrong with this picture? Everything. What is right about this picture? I can’t find one thing right now except maybe that for once I realize that the picture isn’t right.

Very frustrating.

– cricketdiane

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Just checking –

CricketDiane Store on Zazzle

77,942 results

Adaptive Living Tools Store by CricketDiane on Zazzle

898 results
10,674 results
135 results
250 results
58 results
AND
New York City WalkAbout Blogs – (4)

New York City Cricket Guide

New York City Outsiders’ Guide by CricketDiane

New York Walkabout – by CricketDiane

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 The America the Beautiful Show Blog – written by CricketDiane

The Got No Money Guides – humorous look at living written by CricketDiane

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YouTube Channels (3)

CricketDiane Phillips on YouTube

America the Beautiful Show on YouTube also by CricketDiane

Mad Scientist Group on YouTube

Aside from being on Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, Actively engaging on Google+ and the America the Beautiful Show / CricketDiane twitter account, on Vimeo, Photobucket, eBay (though not currently selling there), on Etsy (just starting a store there), and starting to build another website – after having build about 8 or 9 so far, for the CricketDiane products and creative services available from my skills.

But, that is all nothing apparently. I would hate for anyone to see my briefcase and files and computers filled with research, concepts being checked, prototypes, inventions at various stages, artworks, sculptures, promotional campaigns other businesses could use that I’ve created and can’t figure out how to work with them or tell them about it.

Absolutely ridiculous while I’m hearing people closest to me explain that none of that is a product and I don’t have a product and wouldn’t have any way to get one to make a business from either. It is obscene.

I can’t even wrap my head around it anymore. And, I don’t want to – it is driving me to absolute distraction when I need most to be doing things successfully, rather than stupidly. I’ve got stupidly covered already – I was hoping to do something better than that now.

 

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Oh wait, I just realized – you are probably missing the rest of this story, the rest of the facts of the story and why it is like this in the first place. Sorry about that – will put it after I’ve had time to get a bit to eat and think about it some. I mean really, how much do you need to know or would want to know anyway?

Will fill in some facts in a bit for anyone who doesn’t know and would like to know.

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Can’t do it – some places earlier in this blog, I’ve posted a thing or two about it but tonight – it is just too sad.

Suffice it to say, that if anyone has a right to be mad at the world and create art that is hideous in its distinction to show the worst of what humanity has done to me personally – that would be me. And, yet the things I’ve created are beautiful. Maybe that is bad. Maybe they are supposed to show the hideousness of humanity, the cruelty, the brutality of what people can do to others (including me.) Maybe – there is certainly plenty of art like that in the world, typically done by people who have not had those personal experiences, in fact. Strange, isn’t it.

– cricketdiane

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