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Today, I updated this design to give it a little more visual interest and posted it. The auction of the copyrights on eBay brought 175 to look at it and no bids. As disappointing as that was – I’m working to finish some paintings in the next few days, so they can be moved or sold (although selling them seems unlikely.)

I have about three weeks to move to Staten Island and leave here. The yard sale listed in Craiglist brought absolutely not one call and the calls I made to specific collectors of jadeite and Star Trek stuff yielded nothing. So far, I’ve only managed to sell one nearly new big rocking chair for $25. That isn’t even enough to go to the grocery store and buy packing tape. Worst of all, I’m thinking that the only use for this houseful of art that I’ve done is going to be the dumpster at this rate. But I might try an artist open house or estate sale on one or two of the next weekends to see if that works.

As far as the value of the 3,000 plus copyrights – priced on the auction for the entire group at less than $15 each – I know that can’t be right. When any image is used in an ad or magazine – the cost to them for using it is at least $3500 and on products, the cost to use a copyrighted image is much higher than that plus royalties for each product sold. Since there are several product lines among my catalog of copyrights (presented on the zazzle store at cricketdiane), it would certainly have been possible for anyone buying the catalog to have made much more than there original investment back from it and some.

However, that said – traffic and revenue are likely the only real determining factors considered by some of the people who reviewed the offer on my eBay auction. Since those are not very high yet at my store on zazzle and websites, that could have been very difficult to see how money could be made with it. Or, maybe no one who came to see the offer thought much of anything I’ve painted. It could be that.

It is very disappointing though, regardless of the reasons that the auction of the copyrights failed. Strangely, it doesn’t feel like it failed, but I can see that it did considering that there were absolutely no bids on it. I’m at a complete loss for what to do next. Trying to finish these paintings is really a struggle. I hate to think of setting them next to the dumpster on my way out as I’m moving, but that is the image that fills my mind as I am painting them now. Knowing that these years of work have no value is a sorrow and grief that defies words. That I may very well have no choice or better answer than to dump the original artworks, most of my studio’s tools I’ve spent years to acquire and walk away – just fucks with me. There – the English language just abandons me when I think about this – and because I’m moving, it is on my mind every minute it seems.

I hate this. And, I’ve yet to figure out what to do with the rest of the stuff sitting here that I’ve researched, invented, concepted, experiments and notes – it is (no words – but something like dismal . . . )

– cricketdiane

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I wish I had never come back to Georgia after visiting Staten Island and New York – it would’ve been so easy to pretend that none of these things were ever part of my life, not the research, not the inventions, not the paintings, not the economics stuff, not the science stuff, not the innovating stuff, not the – any of it . . . and just let it have been thrown out by somebody else who doesn’t know what any of it is, when I didn’t come back. Well, that might happen anyway because I’m at a loss for what to do with any of it now – and my mind is not capable of figuring it out either. Can’t afford to take it with me without any money to make this move, but I am moving – I have to leave here by the 30th of September. And, none of my ideas for how to make any money with any of it have worked – not one. That seems so against the odds. But there it is.

So, now what? – I go finish these paintings, so it will be less embarrassing when they are set out next to the dumpster, I suppose. Damn – my thinking is just completely miserable – not one thought in my head worth having right now. Even having a yard sale / apt moving sale didn’t work – unbelievable.

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