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for CricketDiane’s Got No Money Guide to Home Security, Personal Safety and Anti-Theft Window and Bumper Stickers –

NEW ENTRIES – 2010 –

* Let me get you a map to Wall Street.

* There could be a job in this – have you thought about how to write up those skill sets for a Blackwater Ops interview? Do you know how much they make?

* Our daughter already broke off the key in the front door. If you steal this car, you’ll have to crawl across the passenger seat to get in just like we do. Yes, the insurance does still cost the same. They don’t cover that, actions by daughters are considered an act of God.

* Before you break our windshield to get in this car – please know that it has an 8-track “stereo” sound system – yes, that was 8-track. Don’t know what that is? Come find me and I’ll explain it to you. It wasn’t bought yesterday.

* Our car is good looking on the outside, yes it is. And, it can be driven at least eight blocks before it needs oil put in it to go. If you’re stealing it – you might want to plan to stop in a little less than two miles or well, you don’t mind walking. Never mind.

* We call this the fart-mobile for a reason.

* If you want a job where theft is legal, let us give you the name of our realtor, the car dealer that sold us the payments on this thing and the insurance company that is charging everything we own to insure it. There’s your job.


* When I think of a robber on the town, stealing this car – it is a moment of gratitude in an otherwise merciless day. That would solve so many problems.

* Go for it. Our payment book is in the dashbox.

* If you find any change in the seats, please leave it for the previous owners. That would be us. And, we need it which is why there are no electronics in this car – not even the ones that came with it.

* Do not try to roll down the back window. Do not try to use the brakes by tapping them real hard. Do not open the back door on the right side. And, definitely don’t get excited if your driver side door doesn’t open. It is a good car – have it.

* We’ve been wanting to go back to the dealership and take this car back. The repo man wouldn’t even come get it. Please don’t leave without it.

* Our daughter’s boyfriend bought a neat electronic toy for this car and then he broke up with our daughter and none of the electronics in this car have worked since. You might want to open the hood and beat the solenoid with a hammer so it will start. There’s a hammer in the trunk.

* Does this look like a Ferrari to you? Those must be some good drugs.

* Can I help you with this? There is a car around the corner that took my parking place at the grocery last week. Call me and I’ll let you know where they are parking today.

* I would be upset about you stealing my car, but it really has a low place on the list of things that have gone wrong lately. Yesterday, the mechanic told me that I could buy a new engine for this car, but he refused to explain why it needed it. My whole week has gone that way. He wanted $1,500 to tell me that – you are soooo in the wrong business.

* You may think that is a GPS thingy on the dash – it isn’t. That came from the dollar store to hold a pencil and paper so we could write down what the map says – that’s the closest to a GPS they sell at the dollar store.

* I own no laptop. There is no fancy cd player in this vehicle. In fact, there is hardly any vehicle in this vehicle. Unless you want some aluminum cans to recycle from under the seat, I don’t know what’s worth breaking into it.

* Well, I do want to congratulate your initiative. You might want to go get a book on car values from the library before you head out next time.

by cricketdiane



More Got No Money Guides to Home Security, Personal Safety and Anti-Theft Devices for Cars – Bumper Stickets and other Safety Measures – cricketdiane


Here is the home page for the Got No Money Guides found there –



This is the original post on wordpress with some of the previous materials for the Got No Money Guide to Anti-Theft Bumper Stickers to Secure Your Car –


So, after going over the US budget cuts demanded by Republicans and knowing they are creating a battle zone out of US streets with poverty more rampant – I thought it would be a good time to work on the Got No Money Guides that I had written since 1987 – and post the tags better on them.

And, I wrote the above materials a little while ago to add to them. Then, I got to thinking that maybe that same perspective needs to be considered on the US budget – not quite like the bumper stickers or the Got No Money Guide to Home Decorating – but sort of . . .

I’ll have to think on it a bit, but it looks like Got No Money is not the problem our government has. They have all our money and are spending it, respending it and spending the part they haven’t even got yet. It looks like having no money is definitely not their problem.

The fact is, Got No Money is going to be the problem that more and more Americans have every day. And, that is going to be a bigger problem than it is today because after having taken a third of everyone’s paycheck and a third of all business profits, our government is giving our money away to other countries to develop their economies rather than to take care of our own.

I still think the America the Beautiful Show plan is a good plan – but I don’t know. It is hard to consider innovating anything when our government is sending everything we’ve ever built, created or owned to serve other countries while raiding all its resources from the US. Well, that’s sort of thinking about the huge corporations that the Republicans allowed to be raided and taken apart that had been employment for people in the US for over a hundred years. What is the point of building anything when that is the only thing that will come of it?

– cricketdiane


But, anyway here is where to find The America the Beautiful Show project –




This is that little storefront online that I started on the other day – and I’m still working on it, but it has a couple things on it right now for what that’s worth.



And here is a wix flash website for Cricket House Studios that I made some time ago –



I guess it might be interesting to create a US budget Got No Money Guide – I did one for business a few years ago (isn’t posted online) just hand-written and it was funny. Well, I thought it was funny – made me laugh.

But, as I said – the government isn’t out of money, our Congress isn’t out of money – they gave themselves more money. We are the ones out of money. And, apparently the one thing the Republicans and their kin want more than anything else is for the rest of us not to be cluttering up their America by being here alive, living, anywhere. Well, at least they do until it is time to take our money so they can spend it and then – they want us here. And, when they want to be elected – but if they didn’t need us for that, they’d have no use for American citizens at all.

What a shame.

– cricketdiane