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Shade Tree Wisdom 2 – 2008 –
2008 Cricket Diane C “Sparky” Phillips

* if you watch the news, you’re just asking to be bothered by something you cain’t do nothin’ about.

* you can’t trust any military that’s got toys – sooner or later, they’ll find a place to use them.

* a duck pond is pretty for the women relations to look at but don’t never tell ‘em where you go duck huntin’ for Christmas dinner.

* good curtains are somethin’ that covers the windows so you can see the ballgame without a glare on the screen.

* never share a remote control with a woman – any woman, even your mama – they’s some things that just ain’t right.

* if you know anybody that knows how to make music – don’t invite ‘em over to your mama’s house unless you like the music they play ‘cause she’ll have you sitting there to listen to it for hours.

* never let on that you don’t know how to do something and don’t never ask anybody how to do anything ‘cause sooner or later, everybody in town’ll know it.

* don’t ever loan a gun to anybody ‘cause they’ll shoot something you wouldn’t.

* an old tire makes a good swing but its not the kind your mama meant when she said to put a swing up.

* anything that’s sitting long enough to get stuck to the ground and get water standing in it makes a good planter.

* if the kitchen table was meant to get cleaned off – stuff wouldn’t get put there.

* any woman that don’t know motor oil goes under the kitchen sink don’t need to be a married woman.

Written by Cricket Diane C Phillips, 08-10-08, USA