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I know you think I’m kidding – but I’m not –

I am not allowed to have my children visit more than a night or two.

not allowed to buy the clothing I want even when I have the extra money to buy them because it is considered a waste of my money by my parents and social worker.

not allowed to have a live model (even clothed) over so I can draw them.

not allowed to vote.

not allowed to speak to my representatives or advocates about matters important to me.

not allowed to leave the country or get a passport.

can’t afford to leave the state nor to own a car.

not allowed to go anywhere – not even to the other side of Atlanta or to the beach in Georgia unless I tell two different government social service agencies and my parents, (out of state or out of my little area where I live.)

must tell them who I am going with and how long I will be gone.

Not allowed to date – anyone.

Not allowed to take an air flight, a train or Greyhound bus anywhere unless I tell all of the government agencies that are subsidizing my apartment and the social worker that handles my SSI disability check and tell my parents – ( and they agree, which they never do)

Not allowed to find a dentist on my own without having to answer to them about it, or a doctor or go to see them on my own without telling the social worker and my parents.

Must report what I’ve eaten, when, how much sleep I’ve had, what time I went to bed, got up, how much coffee or Coca-cola I’ve had today, whether I’ve talked to anybody today, who I’ve talked to in person, on the phone, in email, whether I’ve talked to my children or not today, what I’ve written, what I’ve been reading, what I’m working on, what I’ve been doing today, where I’ve been on the internet and who I’ve seen and talked to . . .

and on and on and I’m not a person who has ever done any major criminal activity ever, I’ve never had a felony – I don’t think I have ever . . .

And still, this is only a partial list, every part of my money situation from one day to the next, my Mom wants to know and sometimes they help with some groceries and sometimes they help me get to the store for me to buy my groceries but most of the time, they don’t.

It still doesn’t mean that I can keep that information to myself about what I bought. Nope, they have to be told every item and how much money I spent and what I have left to spend.

It was a miraculous act of God that I was able to get business cards the other day – which I could’ve had made many times over except that it was perceived as a big, big no-no even when I did it. There has been a constant running battle and resentment from my parents since I had the business cards done that grew exponentially from where it was before getting them.

Still, you probably think this couldn’t happen in America, so its all paranoia – right? Maybe you oughta check that first before deciding. Where do you find the rules for my life that I’m having to live? If I don’t adhere to those things above, don’t answer those questions asked of me each and every day by my mother and once a month or so, by my social worker from the Adult Protection Service – guess what happens . . .

So, it is a month or six months for me to sit in a mental hospital and three years to be able to see again and not be a zombie with a chemical lobotomy from their drugs . . .

So, my belongings, my inventions and research and music and paintings and designs and writings are out in the street again – what is number ninth time for it to be in the street anyway? Yes, nine times this has already been done to me such that the things I had worked for so hard were thrown into the street, I couldn’t pay my bills from the mental hospital and our government takes away ssi  when I spend more than a three week period in a mental hospital.

I guess they figure my home and belongings don’t have any reason to be available to me when the State of Georgia and Cobb County Social Services, Democrats and other “special Christians” are finished zombifrying me – especially since I’m nobody. I don’t like Socialism and especially don’t care for the lack of freedoms I’ve been subjected and subjugated to endure, but I have no rights to fight it either.

And, everyone agrees, that poor, good for nothing crazy people like me are getting what we deserve and really don’t deserve any better than this anyway. I know this because some people in our State government, our County and in my community, in my family and among my friends have explained it this way to me. I’m repeating the way it was explained to me.

Now, I’m writing this to let everyone know why I am having to stop, regroup and consider whether it is worth finding myself abused in Georgia’s mental hospitals again just to create a show about America and freedom and Can-Do Thinking. Never mind, now that I’ve thought about it. I know why its important. I’m living with the results of your choices to be a Socialist Labor Party Nation.

Why don’t ya’ll just help your own selves to figure out your market projections that are shown to be way off and figure out your own how-to solution oriented thinking. You have all the money to do what you want anyway. That show at the Fox Theater will be a piece of cake for anyone besides me to put together and no doubt you will use it to serve some petty agenda that won’t matter 500 years from now. Go for it . . .

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