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* Fashion decorating has a lot of important concepts to remember. Rustic means you bring the sticks inside the house and Euro-rustic means to leave the sticks outside but bring the tree in the house.

* Early American and primitive means you hang all the rusty tools on the wall as a fashion accent. Poor means you’re still using them everyday.

* Danish modern means everything is made out of the wood your grandma said wasn’t good for nothing and polishing it. All other modern/contemporary means all the furniture is white because they can afford to hire somebody to keep it clean and their children puke on art canvas instead of the couch.

* They might not call it a couch. When you got no money, it doesn’t much matter what you call it. It does help to be able to sit down on it.

* Keeping the important things in mind when decorating with no money is critical. With $500 to buy designer sheets, who could sleep? I’d lay awake all night trying to spend that much money. I sure couldn’t sleep on it.

* Another important thing to consider about decorating is what paid people think. The paid people from the government that have to come visit every week probably won’t understand why you just don’t go buy new stuff anyway. We go no money is not their problem. We’re paying them.

* Glue and scotch tape are the magic tools of the got no money decorator. What you can’t glue or tape, you don’t need to be doing and can’t afford. Anything that has to be propped up to be any good needs a good brick. These are the basic elements of good design with no money.

* If you can tack it on the wall – don’t waste any nails on it. If you can stickey tack it on – don’t waste any tacks on it. This is a hardware concept – you don’t have to waste a lot of time fighting with it.

* By the way – the Early American thing – don’t use tacks. Those old rusty hand saws just will not stay. This is called an “active environment” risk.

* Children’s rooms are almost cheating because they are so easy to decorate with no money. We dump the box of their toys out in the middle of the floor and call it, “child development access area.” Takes all the work out of it.

* There is no such thing as broken – has to be thrown away when you have no money. Old dishwasher handlebar got broke – it becomes a new bicycle pedal. Shelf got broke because child was using it for free-form dexterity test – it becomes a scraper to take the plaster off the toilet.

* Everything can be incorporated into a thorough, well-planned decorating scheme. You know how stiff blue jeans get when they have been worn three weeks without being washed? If they can just hold up this one tabletop . . .

by cricketdiane


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